Twice the affairs
by m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing
Summary: When Connie's problems get too much for her, she confides in the very person she least expected to. But one thing leads to another, and with that come more problems for the clinical lead to face. But the question is, will she face them alone once more?...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So this is going to be my interpretation of parts of the winter trailer (which is on their website if you've not seen it yet). I imagine this is completely different to what will actually happen, but it gave me inspiration so I thought I'd write it anyway xD**

**I hope you enjoy- if you want me to carry this on do review and let me know! -Sophie x**

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><p><em>"We have received a call about your daughter Grace's welfare."<em>

The words rang in her ears like the incessant chiming of a clock gone midnight. Over and over again, she was reminded of how bad things were becoming, and how fast she was losing grip of what stability she once had in her life.

After that meeting, the clinical lead was called to a puzzling case in resus by Cal. But she was no help- her mind simply wasn't, for once, on her work. In fact, it was anywhere but. She sighed and placed her stethoscope around her neck.

"Run the tests again then come back to me once the results arrive." She said quietly, turning and walking straight out the doors. She took some deep breaths and made her way to her office, where she went in and promptly shut the door, before collapsing into her chair and placing her head in her hands.

"What's happing to me?" she whispered, "I can't be a proper mother, I can't be a proper clinical lead, I can't even seem to do my job properly." She felt so useless, so powerless, for the first time in her life.

She sat in that same position, mulling things over and over until her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. She quickly sat up and tried to make herself look busy.

"Come in." She called, quickly turning her notebook to a blank page and starting to write in it. In walked Cal, holding a piece of paper.

"The results are back for Mrs Crossley." He smiled slightly, holding up the paper. Connie stopped pretending to write and made her way to him, taking the results before looking over them.

"All normal…" She mused, biting one of her nails in thought. Cal cleared his throat.

"I was thinking a possible pneumothorax."

Connie looked up. "But her CT was fine, it would have picked it up."

"Not if it was a small one. It would explain the constant collapsing, tachycardia etc." he looked at her with intent eyes, watching as she realised what he was saying was the only reasonable explanation.

"That's… One, possibility." She replied. Cal sighed and took the sheet from her hands.

"Mrs Beauchamp, it's the only reasonable explanation-"

"There's always the chance of an NTD."

"The woman is 76, she hasn't been out of the house in weeks, never mind the country! I'm treating her as a pneumothorax, okay?" He looked into her eyes, and noticed they were slightly redder than usual. She sighed and went to sit down again, carrying on writing in her jotter.

"Fine." She muttered.

Cal took a deep breath and closed the door. "Is… Is everything ok?" he asked hesitantly. She looked up sharply.

"Of course. Why?"

"It's just," he paused for a minute, hoping his next words wouldn't spark a shouting match, "usually you would have been over and done with that patient within ten minutes."

She narrowed her eyes. "What are you trying to say, Dr Knight? That I'm not a good doctor?"

"Oh god no, no of course not, no. It's just that you seem a little pre-occupied, like something's bothering you. If there is-" he added, cheeks reddening slightly, "you can always talk to me about it. I'm a little worried about you."

"I can assure you that I am totally fine," she replied, though her voice faltered slightly, "thankyou."

He looked down at her, his face softening. "Connie-"

"-_Don't _call me that-" she interrupted harshly, but he went on anyway.

"-I mean it. You've not been yourself recently at all, not since the crash." His voice became gentle.

"Oh what do you care." She snapped, glaring at him. Cal was slightly taken aback, but he stood his ground.

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here would I." He said pointedly. His boss went silent, thinking, though her face still showed her anger and frustration. He seems genuine, and didn't scarper even though I snapped at him, she thought, twirling the ring she always wore on her left hand.

"Why don't you come round to mine for a chat after work?" he asked gently. This was a risky move, even for him. She looked at him slowly, one eyebrow raised, though she was still thinking.

"Seriously. You can't bottle it up forever Connie."

That much was true- she needed someone to talk to, and the man that stood before her seemed the only person that would tolerate her at the minute.

"Alright." She spoke quietly, her voice so low that he thought he heard wrong.

"I'll meet you here when our shift ends." He smiled. "See you later."

"Bye. Oh and Cal-" he turned from where one hand rested on her door handle.

"Yes?"

"Don't tell anyone about this please." Her face was expressionless, apart from the red tint to the tips of her ears. He smiled and winked at her.

"My lips are sealed boss."

"And don't call me boss!" she shouted after him as he shut her door and left her in a deafening silence, alongside a dreading for that evening that just wouldn't go away.

Talking about her feelings was not something Connie found easy, or made a habit of. She preferred to keep it to herself- they were her problems, she had to sort them out alone.

But the darkness she felt every waking minute was just getting too much, even for her, to handle. She sighed and placed her head in her hands once more, feeling every second tick by as she sat and wasted every one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello!**

**I had another bit written and ready to go, so I thought I'd post now :D Updates will be whenever I get the chance to write as I have some exams next week and I really need to revise for them (*cries*).**

**Just a couple of replies-**

**Connie- You lucky thing! It's a lovely name :)**

**Isbella- Awh, thankyou so much! And I have bit of an obsession too, can you tell? xD I did see the bit where she was arrested- that's going to be an emotional one :'(**

**Hope you all enjoy and please review if possible! -Sophie x**

**(P.S- I am really bad at writing Cal and Ethan together so I apologise in advance!)**

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><p>"Nibbles!" Cal grinned as he approached his brother in the staffroom. It was almost time for their shift to end and the day staff were busy getting their things together.<p>

"Cal stop calling me that." He hissed, the tips of his ears going slightly red. "What do you want?"

"Can I have some more of mum's money?"

"More?!" his brother looked at him incredulously, "where are you putting it all!?"

"Most of its going to your bank account to pay the rent, remember? Anyway, I really need it so will you transfer about £50 to my account please?" he asked, opening the door to his locker and grabbing his stuff.

"Cal, you've used it all!" Ethan said despairingly, "and most of it wasn't even yours, it was mine!"

His brother slammed the locker door shut and locked it again. "If it was yours then why did you give me it?" Ethan looked at him and sighed.

"You were looking after me, I thought you sort of deserved it." He looked away, messing about with some papers on the desk. Cal came and leant against the surface. "So does this mean I can't have any?"

"Yes Caleb it does. I'm sorry but there just isn't any left. You'll have to wait for the next payday."

"But I need it tonight!" he groaned. "Do you not gave any I could borrow? It's important."

"You still owe me £200, I'm not lending you anymore." Ethan said firmly, just as Lily walked in. She stopped and looked from one brother to another.

"I'm not interrupting am I?"

"No no," Ethan said quickly, smiling at her. "We were just finished."

"Good. You ready to go? We can look over the paper Dr Ashford gave me, I think I still have it in my study somewhere."

"Wait, you're going home together?" Cal asked, a wide grin spreading across his face. He looked from Lily to Ethan who glanced at each other.

"Um yes, though I don't remember it being any of your business." Lily said expressionlessly. It was amazing how much she reminded Cal of their boss- steely and emotionless.

Or so he thought…

"Alright, sorry." The elder brother put his hands up in apology before slinging his bag over his shoulder and picking up his coat. "You're big children now, I forgot. Laters Ethan."

He left the staffroom and closed the door behind him. He then headed to Connie's office, only to find it empty and her stuff gone.

"Typical." He sighed before walking quickly to reception.

"Hey Noel, you seen Connie?" he asked the man behind reception. He nodded his head.

"Yeah, went by a few seconds ago-" He didn't get the chance to finish as Cal sprinted away, through the doors and out into the car park. He scanned the staff parking area quickly before spotting her sleek black machine, and herself putting her bags into the boot.

"Mrs Beauchamp!" he called. She turned quickly to see him running towards her and sighed quietly.

"Damn," she whispered, "so close."

He approached her out of breath. "Hey, were you going to leave without me?"

"That _was _my intention, yes." She replied shortly before climbing into the passenger's side to put some papers into her glove box. Mirroring her, Cal went round and got in the driver's side, much to her annoyance.

"Dr Knight, please get out of my car."

"No."

"Dr Knight." She said warningly, her eyes becoming piercing. "Please get out of my car."

"No." he replied before turning to look at her. "You can't run from your problems you know, I learnt that the hard way. You're not coping with them on your own, so you need help. There's no need to be ashamed of that."

"I'm not ashamed." She said tiredly. "So again, please leave."

"So again, no." He studied her for a few seconds, watching how she fiddled with her ring nervously, or messed with the button at the bottom of her sleeve.

"What are you so afraid of Connie?" he asked quietly.

This threw her. She sat for a few minutes, staring intently out of her window, watching as her team left the building laughing and smiling, as if they didn't have a care in the world. The woman let out the breath she didn't realise she had been holding, and looked at the man sat next to her.

"I'm scared of what will happen next." She whispered, blinking rapidly in order to hold back the tears that were threatening to make an appearance. She looked up at Cal's face as it went from thoughtful, to concerned.

"Where are your car keys?"

"Pardon?"

"I said, where are your car keys?"

She paused before nodding to her handbag on the dashboard. Cal pulled it down and found the keys, before placing it gently on Connie's knee and starting up the engine.

They drove in silence. Connie staring out the window in another world entirely, and Cal focusing intently on the road; he knew if he crashed this car then he was a dead man for sure.

After 15 minutes, Cal smoothly pulled the car into the driveway. Connie was jolted from her thoughts as the car came to a stop and Call came round to open her door.

"You live here?" She asked, faintly surprised. It was a nice area, no too far from her own turf.

"Me and nibbles share one of the flats." Cal replied, shutting her door and delving into his pocket to find his key. Connie was slightly alarmed, and it showed in her face.

"It's alright, he's gone to Lily's place, and something tells me he won't be returning tonight either." A small smile passed Connie's lips.

"So are they together?" She asked, sounding faintly interested as she followed him up the steps that led to his door.

"Not too sure to be quite honest." Cal admitted, "Here we go."

With a click of the lock, the door opened and the doctor led his boss inside.


	3. Chapter 3

It was decorated rather nicely, though definitely home to two males due to lack of colour. He led her to the living room.

"Please-" he motioned to the sofa, "sit down, I'll get you a drink."

"Thankyou, tea would be nice. Milk, two sugars." Connie replied quietly, perching on the edge of the sofa and looking round. The living room was scarcely decorated, but still fairly nice. They had a marble fireplace, with photo frames on top. She got up and went to look at them. There were three in total; one of the two brothers in their graduation clothes, one of them as children, and one of a beautiful young woman whom she presumed to be their mother. Connie smiled as Cal came back with their drinks.

"So." He said, sitting down at the other end of the sofa.

"So." His boss replied, hands cupping the "Happy 21st!" mug she had been given. They sat in silence, Connie looking at her feet, and Cal watching her. He noticed that she looked more withdrawn than usual; her freckles more prominent than they usually were. He cleared his throat.

"Connie-"

"Wait, Cal." She said quietly, "let me tell you rather than the whole 20 questions, ok?"

"Whatever's best."

She thought for a few minutes longer then put her cup down on the little oak coffee table. She turned to face him and began to speak, twirling the ring on her right hand round and round.

"It all started when I joined the ED. I didn't hit it off with any of you except Robyn, then even she grew to dislike me. Then when I became clinical lead, the work load got harder. I had so much extra I had to do, as swell a cope with the cut backs, as well as cope with you lot. Then there was the crash. That was my fault-" Cal tried to interrupt her but she cut him off, "-and I know it, so don't try tell me otherwise. If I hadn't suggested the stupid trip, Jeff wouldn't…" she slowed down, "Jeff wouldn't have died. I still have nightmares, every night. Then came the whole Hailey Blake debacle. She's taking me to court Cal!"

"I'm sure it'll be sorted out before then." He soothed but she didn't buy it.

"I had 14 answerphone messages from that woman. 14! She means business. But then as if things couldn't get any worse, Grace was expelled. Then suspended. She's such a lovely, sweet girl, I don't know what her problem is. She can't do as she's told so I punish her, that's how parenting works. But now there's an investigation into an allegation of child abuse." She sighed, picking up her mug again. "And they're following it up."

"Oh Connie, I had no idea." Cal said quietly as she brought the mug to her lips. He could hear the ceramic colliding with her teeth as her hands began to tremble. She brought the cup to her knees and bit her lip.

"What am I going to go?" Her voice cracked, and tears began to spill down her cheeks. "I could be sent down."

"Here." He handed her a box of tissues and she took it gratefully. "Look, you're a good mother. It can't be hard juggling a demanding job as well as a daughter, as well as all the rest. They'll understand."

"No they won't." She whispered, "If they have the evidence, they'll send me to jail. This system's fucked up, and they know it."

Cal had no response to that last comment because he knew it was true. Connie sat silently, tear after tear being wiped away by tissue. He felt for her, he really did. He knew things must be bad, because the ice queen wouldn't break down optionally. And she was breaking down. Slowly but surely, her silence was broken by loud sobs, shakes, and shudders.

The doctor moved slowly until he was sat next to her, then put his arm around her shaking shoulders.

"Alright, alright." He whispered, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb until she calmed down.

"I'm sorry." She said, dabbing at her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for." He smiled, getting up and taking their mugs. "I'll go get a refill."

He disappeared into the kitchen and Connie put her head in her hands. Her life was a mess, and the only person she could talk to was one of her staff. What had happened to her? She used to be so organised, so respected.

Cal's words echoed in her mind as she rubbed her forehead._ "…you need help. There's no need to be ashamed of that."_

Maybe Cal was what she needed. He was willing, caring and understanding- a total surprise. There was no way she wanted to go through this again, so what else was there to do?

She heard the kettle boil in the kitchen and the clink of mugs, then Cal reappeared, holding 2 mugs and two plates.

"Ham or cheese?" he asked, placing the plates and mugs in front of her on the coffee table, and sitting in the chair opposite her. She looked at him blankly.

"Sandwiches. I know for a fact you won't have eaten today, so I made you a sandwich. You can have both if you like."

She looked at him, the suddenly felt a rush of something- a bit like when she sees Grace laugh, or when Sam bought her the ring she always wore…

Love. She felt love.

She looked into his eyes and saw them glittering, dancing. He looked back at her, and she knew then that he felt the same.

Letting her feelings take over, Connie leant forward, eyes still teary, and kissed him softy on the lips. He responded just as gently, moving forwards and placing his hands softy in her hair, tucking a stray strand behind her ear. She too moved closer, placing her hands on his knees and slowly but surely, moving them upwards.

Cal broke away and placed his forehead against hers.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he whispered, out of breath. Connie took his hands from her hair, looking into his eyes all the while, and stood up, pulling him up with her.

"I'm sure." She replied quietly. "Lead the way."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi!**

**So I've had quite a few requests for this to be updated- quite out of the blue actually considering I haven't updated it in ages!**

**Well, this is for those who requested it- I had to remind myself what the story was about when I got that first review xD**

**Please review if possible with your thoughts- they're always appreciated! -Sophie?**** x**

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><p>Connie awoke the next morning to the sun streaming through the opened blinds. She was laid on her stomach, one arm slung out to her right. Just as she was about to go back to sleep again, she hauled herself up onto her forearms and looked around the room blearily.<p>

This wasn't her bedroom.

The room was white and rather cluttered, whereas hers was deep red and pin neat. She sat up properly and tried to recollect how she got there. Then it hit her.

Cal.

The gentle sound of his footsteps grew louder as she struggled to throw on her clothes that had been discarded at the end of the bed that previous evening. He opened the door to find her rooting through her bag for a hairbrush.

"Morning." He said softly, placing two steaming mugs on the bedside table. "I made some tea before we have to get off- just milk isn't it?"

She nodded and took the nearest mug gratefully. "I'm sweet enough."

Cal grinned and sat beside her. "Unfortunately, I know some that would disagree…"

Connie sighed and cupped her mug. "I know. I'm not particularly well liked at work am I…"

"I like you." Cal said optimistically, leaning back until he was resting against the wooden headboard. "And I know Robyn admires you in a way."

Connie looked at him, one eyebrow raised and sipped her tea before responding.

"You have a crush on me and admiration isn't the same as liking someone. I'm not an idiot Cal."

"Never said you were, but touché." He replied quietly as he picked up his mobile phone and sat forward again. "What you told me, last night- I won't tell anyone else I promise, ok?"

She took in the sincerity of his words over her drink.

"Good." She replied, glancing down at the phone screen his eye's seemed to be glued to, a small smirk twitching at his lips. "Otherwise you'd know about it." Connie paused before speaking again, one elegantly manicured nail tracing the edge of the mug.

"That goes for, let's say, the events of late last night too."

He looked up from his phone screen. "Of course."

Connie looked at his dead pan face before letting her tongue run over her teeth. "There is one thing that's been bothering me since I opened my eyes this morning, however."

"What's that?" he replied, placing his empty mug back on the bedside table.

"Who's this "Taylor" the whole workforce seems to be gossiping about?" Her seemingly innocent eyes bore into his, and he became slightly uncomfortable.

"She's… A friend."

Once her mind had registered these words, Connie knew her thoughts had been confirmed. However, she carried on playing the innocence card.

"You're a crap liar." She muttered, wiping away the vivid lipstick marks she'd made on the edge of her mug.

Cal sighed. "We've been seeing each other for a couple of months or so. Well, we were until my brother decided to get involved."

"Ethan?" Connie asked in surprise. She thought of the registrar as an awkward sort of saint like figure- brilliant at his job, just not the most confident of medical professionals.

"You underestimate him." Cal chuckled slightly, looking down at the carpet. "I owe him some money, and he went all ape-shit on me so he decided to tell Taylor about…" he hesitated, "well, you."

"Me? I'm flattered, Dr Knight." She murmured. "So you're not together anymore? At all?"

"At the minute, no." He looked up and shot her a nervous sort of grin. "You're being nosey aren't you? Looks like I underestimated what you're like too."

"I'm not nosey, I just wanted to know whether I was sleeping with a taken man or not." Connie replied, her eyes starting to glint in the sunlight.

"Why does it matter? It's just you don't usually discuss previous relationships with the man you just slept with." Cal stated, his eyes widening with surprise when he looked at her to see her smiling.

"It doesn't matter as _such, _it just gives me… a sort of a thrill." She whispered seductively, and he played right into her hands.

"Connie Beauchamp… Looks like I _really _underestimated you." He murmured as he leant in to kiss her. She, however, moved away.

"What is it?" the doctor asked in confusion, his brow creasing with confusion when Connie emitted a shallow laugh.

"You men," she said quietly, "so gullible when it comes to the opposite sex."

"What?"

She stood up and grabbed her bag from the floor before slinging it over her shoulder.

"I looked at your phone earlier, genius. I saw the text from your so called "friend". "I love you so much Cal xxx"" her voice became high and mocking as she quoted the text she'd seen, which caused the atmosphere to take a dramatic turn.

"No no, you must have misunderstood-"He started before she cut him off.

"Don't lie to me Cal." She hissed, "I've heard it too many times before. I'll let myself out- see you at work."

And with that, the clinical lead made her way to the front door, unlocked it and promptly slammed it shut again after stepping over its threshold. She stalked to her car with a face like thunder and climbed in, shoving her bag in the foot well of the passenger's side, just as his door opened again.

"Connie!" he yelled desperately, as she revved up her engage and reversed down his driveway.

"Don't be late Dr Knight!" She called before speeding off down the road, leaving Cal on his doorstep, confused, tired and ultimately- ditched.


	5. Chapter 5

**Update!**

**Sorry it's later than I promised Ellie but I was a little busier than planned yesterday! Anyway, here you go- I didn't have very much written but I added some more anyway :D**

**Please review if you can and let me know your thoughts! -Sophie x**

**(P.S- I updated "Goodbye darling, I love you" earlier in case anyone wanted to check that out :D)**

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><p>Later that day, when Cal had finally decided to stumble into work, a group of victims following a school bus crash were brought in and the department was thrown into action stations, with Connie at the helm of course.<p>

"Right, Zoe you take the major trauma with Tess and Charlie, the teacher was it? Cal-" she narrowed her eyes ever slightly as he looked up, "you take the walking wounded with Lofty and Rita. Ensure they're all patched up and ready to go as soon as possible please. Robyn, you assist Lily and Ethan with our existing patients. We're going to need the beds so try discharge as many as possible ok?" Connie dished out her orders and watched as they nodded and headed off to where they were told to go, just as Dixie and Jeff brought in the first lot of patients.

…

Half an hour later and the process was in full flow. The children came in, were assessed and sent off to wherever they needed to be. From cubicles, Lily and Ethan were discharging patients at lightning speed, whilst simultaneously observing Cal's actions from afar.

"You say he didn't mention anything about last night?" Lily asked as she filled out one of the patient's discharge papers.

"No… I asked but he was very vague." Ethan sighed, leaning against the desk just as Cal came round the corner. Connie was looking up at the priority list, and when he noticed she was stood there, the doctor immediately swerved the opposite way. This didn't go unnoticed by either of the staff, and Lily frowned slightly.

"Did you just see that?" she asked, her eyes following the back of his retreating figure.

"I did…" Ethan trailed off before coming up with a thought. He turned quickly to Lily who was smiling. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, by any chance?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I think I am… The "Bad Boy" and "The Ice Queen"… Who'd have thought it?"

"Well, he's had most of his other bosses so I guess it was only a matter of time." Ethan sighed.

"Shall we go "keep an eye on them"?" The F2 make mock quotation marks with her fingers and grinned.

The doctor hesitated but then decided, well, why not?

"In think we should…" he trailed off, watching as Connie disappeared through the doors that lead to resus.

"Let me just discharge Mrs Brown then we'll follow her trail."

Lily dealt with her patient then the two made their way through cubicles and slipped through the doors to resus. The immediately hid behind the supplies trolley and watched intently.

Connie and Cal were both working on the same patient- a young girl around Grace's age. Connie was checking her ABC's whilst Cal stood at the bottom of the bed, yawning every few seconds. The clinical lead noticed this and walked slowly to the bottom of the bed.

"Tired, Dr Knight?" She asked icily, placing her hands gently on her hips in that iconic Connie Beauchamp pose which she knew drove him mad.

"Late night." His eyes glinted as he looked her up and down quickly before finding her eyes again, cold and piercing.

"Did you see that?" Lily whispered excitedly from where she was bent behind the trolley, peering through one of the shelves.

"I'm stood right behind you, course I did. And he way she called him Dr Knight with that look? Could they make it any more obvious?" he whispered back but she quickly shushed him, tilting her head to where they were stood.

"Well maybe you should use your bed for sleeping in, Dr Knight." Her eyes glinted as his cheeks flushed at the comment, aware of Zoe and Rita's presence around them, and the fact she wasn't exactly being discreet.

Lily let out an excitable, high pitched giggle before listening again.

"What makes you think I didn't?" He asked innocently, placing his hands in the pocket of his scrubs. She just raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

"I'm a mother, Caleb. Mothers know everything." She smiled flirtatiously before moving back up to the bed where the little girl was starting to stir.


End file.
